Today I talked to a friend of mine and he really got me thinking. This is what I came up with.
Life is a learning experiance. From the time you are born you are learning day in and day out. You learn to cry for what you want, you learn to crawl to get around, you learn to talk to tell people how you feel. Everyday there is something new to learn.
High school is probablly the place where self esteem to taught the most, and not by the teachers, but by the students. Never in all of my life did I feel so unwanted, so unloved, and so disrespected than I did those four years of my life. Teased everyday because of stupid stuff. How I dressed, or how my hair looked, or how I looked. It was always something and it never came to an end.
Before, durning, and even after high school the teasing never stopped. It was always something. Always this or always that. Nothing I had or did was ever good enough for other people.
Always be the first-rate version of yourself, instead of the second-rate version of somebody else.
Not until I moved to New Jersey did I realize that something wasn't working for me. I learned that if I followed in the footsteps of someone else and tried to be what everyone else wanted, I would never find my own way, do my own thing, and become my own person.
So many times I felt like it was to hard to get out of the shadows of my own saddness and depression. At times all I want to do was crawl under a rock and never be seen again. One day my sister pointed out to that I walked with my head down. I never realized how bad it was until I was walking to school one day and almost got hit by a bus. The messed up thing about it was that I didn't know until I got to school and a girl in my class who was on that bus told me. After that I knew something had to give
A champion is somebody who gets up, even when he can't
Everywhere I went after that I tried to walk with my head up. Time and time again I felt myself walking and looking at the ground. When I became aware of that, up my head went. I never realized how bad that was until I realized that my neck would start hurting from walking with my head up so long. But I kept doing it. Walking with my head up still hurts to this day and its been almost 2 years.
I do it because I can, I can because I want to, and I want to because you said I couldn't
Even after people around me started to see my face more and started to see my smile more, they still wanted to hate. At times all I wanted to do was give up, but I for some reason get an adrenaline rush from proving people wrong when they tell me that I can't do something. "How dare you tell me that I can't have that. I'll get it, you'll see.", "Who gives you the right to tell me I can't do something? Watch me do this.", "Your telling me I'm not good enough? Yeah ok, hold that thought." Its crazy.
Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail.
After awhile I didn't need anyone to tell me what I couldn't do. I just wanted to do things for me cause it felt good to do it for me. Oh boy did it feel good. I started to feel like I didn't need to make other people happy. All I need was me and my God.
What you are is God's gift to you, what you make of yourself is your gift to God.
After awhile it was branded in my head that NO ONE will care about me more than myself and more than God. There is no one else who can take everything away from me and leave me high and dry like God can. In one day, I lost everything I had and when I say everything, i mean EVERYTHING...why....because I lost sight of Him. Never in my life will I put a human being infront of the only person who I know that would die for me.
Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find is one good reason why it will.
Life is not fair. Nothing is promised to you. Tomorrow may never come. In my life I had to let go of all the reason why I felt like I wasn't good enough, all the reasons why I was teased, and why I felt like I never deserved better. What I got when I let go of all the baggage was the understanding that, if no one else will love me, then I will have to. I will have to take responsility for my own happiness and make it work for my self and when I felt like I was alone, I still had God. That was enough for me.
You can't have a better tomorrow if your always thinking about yesterday.
Yes I admit. I do sometimes jump myself back into my past and get alittle depressed. But NEVER do I want to go back there again to where I was. So if I looks like I am, Im not. Don't get it confused and don't get it twisted.
When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.
I hold on to my own happiness cause I'm the only one who can give it to me. I hold on to the things I have learned cause my knowledge and my wisdom made me who I am today. I hold on to the bad memories of the past so that I can be proud of how far I have come today. I hold on to God because He is the only one who can love me as much as I can love me. I hold on to my Guardian Angel (and you know who you are) because I wouldn't be living without him. I hold on to me not because I want to, and not because I have to, but because there is no one else better to hold on to.
Life is a learning experiance. From the time you are born you are learning day in and day out. You learn to cry for what you want, you learn to crawl to get around, you learn to talk to tell people how you feel. Everyday there is something new to learn.
High school is probablly the place where self esteem to taught the most, and not by the teachers, but by the students. Never in all of my life did I feel so unwanted, so unloved, and so disrespected than I did those four years of my life. Teased everyday because of stupid stuff. How I dressed, or how my hair looked, or how I looked. It was always something and it never came to an end.
Before, durning, and even after high school the teasing never stopped. It was always something. Always this or always that. Nothing I had or did was ever good enough for other people.
Always be the first-rate version of yourself, instead of the second-rate version of somebody else.
Not until I moved to New Jersey did I realize that something wasn't working for me. I learned that if I followed in the footsteps of someone else and tried to be what everyone else wanted, I would never find my own way, do my own thing, and become my own person.
So many times I felt like it was to hard to get out of the shadows of my own saddness and depression. At times all I want to do was crawl under a rock and never be seen again. One day my sister pointed out to that I walked with my head down. I never realized how bad it was until I was walking to school one day and almost got hit by a bus. The messed up thing about it was that I didn't know until I got to school and a girl in my class who was on that bus told me. After that I knew something had to give
A champion is somebody who gets up, even when he can't
Everywhere I went after that I tried to walk with my head up. Time and time again I felt myself walking and looking at the ground. When I became aware of that, up my head went. I never realized how bad that was until I realized that my neck would start hurting from walking with my head up so long. But I kept doing it. Walking with my head up still hurts to this day and its been almost 2 years.
I do it because I can, I can because I want to, and I want to because you said I couldn't
Even after people around me started to see my face more and started to see my smile more, they still wanted to hate. At times all I wanted to do was give up, but I for some reason get an adrenaline rush from proving people wrong when they tell me that I can't do something. "How dare you tell me that I can't have that. I'll get it, you'll see.", "Who gives you the right to tell me I can't do something? Watch me do this.", "Your telling me I'm not good enough? Yeah ok, hold that thought." Its crazy.
Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail.
After awhile I didn't need anyone to tell me what I couldn't do. I just wanted to do things for me cause it felt good to do it for me. Oh boy did it feel good. I started to feel like I didn't need to make other people happy. All I need was me and my God.
What you are is God's gift to you, what you make of yourself is your gift to God.
After awhile it was branded in my head that NO ONE will care about me more than myself and more than God. There is no one else who can take everything away from me and leave me high and dry like God can. In one day, I lost everything I had and when I say everything, i mean EVERYTHING...why....because I lost sight of Him. Never in my life will I put a human being infront of the only person who I know that would die for me.
Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find is one good reason why it will.
Life is not fair. Nothing is promised to you. Tomorrow may never come. In my life I had to let go of all the reason why I felt like I wasn't good enough, all the reasons why I was teased, and why I felt like I never deserved better. What I got when I let go of all the baggage was the understanding that, if no one else will love me, then I will have to. I will have to take responsility for my own happiness and make it work for my self and when I felt like I was alone, I still had God. That was enough for me.
You can't have a better tomorrow if your always thinking about yesterday.
Yes I admit. I do sometimes jump myself back into my past and get alittle depressed. But NEVER do I want to go back there again to where I was. So if I looks like I am, Im not. Don't get it confused and don't get it twisted.
When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.
I hold on to my own happiness cause I'm the only one who can give it to me. I hold on to the things I have learned cause my knowledge and my wisdom made me who I am today. I hold on to the bad memories of the past so that I can be proud of how far I have come today. I hold on to God because He is the only one who can love me as much as I can love me. I hold on to my Guardian Angel (and you know who you are) because I wouldn't be living without him. I hold on to me not because I want to, and not because I have to, but because there is no one else better to hold on to.
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