First and foremost lets start with relationships in general. I googled the word Relationship and it say a relationship is:
- a relation between people; (`relationship' is often used where `relation' would serve, as in `the relationship between inflation and unemployment ...
- a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); "he didn't want his wife to know of the relationship"
- a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries
- kinship: (anthropology) relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption
So now that we understand what a relationship is, we can know tackle what it means to cheat within that relationship. Lets start with something that is hard to believe for women but not hard to believe for men, and that is: women cheat just as much as men do. Yes it is true. Hard to believe, but true.
Now time for the fun part. We now look into the minds of 4 men and 5 women and see what counts as cheating to them. Lets get started, shall we??
First I will like to say that no names will be used in this. Only what you said. Muhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah.
OK so let just say that the women were very happy to put their two cents in on this. Lets see what some of them had to say.
Now this first young lady feels the way any man or women would feel about cheating she says "pretty much any actions he feels he has to hide from you is cheating". I do understand that completely. If you feel like you have to run and hide to do what you want with someone else then that can be, and most likely will be counted as cheating. Men, if your lady is always acting all secretive with a male friend, how would you feel??
Our next young lady sees it a different way. She says "in my oppinion it would depend on the man, the women, the "other person" and the relationships between all three or 2 of the three". This is what i like to call an "Open relationship". To me, if that is the way you want to roll, then that is all good and dandy with me. Or it could just be a nice 3-some. If that is the case, then party on. But there are to many STDs and STIs out there to be doing all that. To allow it, or to do it.
This next young lady tells me what she counts as cheating. She says "i count kissing,any kind of sex(head is sex), hmmm.....getting too touchy, one night stands lol...being too flirty with other women cuz that will lead to other things.selling his body for money". I like where she was going with all of these answers. Men think about it. If your lady was doing all of this with another man, would you like it??
Our next young lady gets a little more deeper into what she feels cheating is or can be. She says "There's not just physical cheating but also emotional cheating. If he spends too much time talking and hanging with a female friend and never includes you, that is cheating. If he feels he can tell her everything and run to her in his time of need when he should be coming to you, then that can be emotional cheating". Very well put. I don't know how many men will feel this way but I have to say that if you have a lady and she wants to be there for you. It would not be wise to run to Susie down the street to tell her how your day went and how your boss is a complete jack. Think about it men. Would you feel the connection you and your lady is supposed to have, if every time she runs into the house after a bad day and jumps on the phone with Ralph and not tell you anything or waits until five hours later after another man has calmed her down??
Our last young lady gives us a good idea of what she would count as cheating, but also gives us something more to think about. She says "i agree with all, but mainly it depends on the relationship with the person hes "cheateing" with before i came in the picture. i cant tell a man that he cant hug on a person anymore that he has been hugging for three years. however hugging to affectionatly, kissing, any type of sex, holding hands, smakcing on the ass, and even being to intamint. i dont want my man all cozy with another woman even if they rnt doing any of the other things ". Yes Yes Yes. I do agree here too. If you knew a girl before you met your lady, then that is all good. But once you find someone that you want to be with, then other things have to stop. If you always smacked Susie on the butt when you left her or picked her up when you hugged her, then that is something that can't go down when your lady comes along. I mean men, would you be all happy happy joy joy if every time your lady saw Ralph she pinched his butt or allowed him to place his hands on the small of her back every time he saw her, while knowing you are standing right there??
Those are just somethings that ladies count and feel might be cheating. There are so many more and you might just have to talk to your lady and find out what she will and will not tolerate when it comes to female friends, or girls on the side. Also if you have a lady who is not really open with sharing her feelings, then try to watch her actions when you talk to other women. Your lady will always find a way to tell you if she is not comfortable with something. Good luck Men.
Now its on the the men.
What i have learned is that men are simple. Men love different then women, but when it comes to cheating. Its not so different. If you don't want it done to you ladies. Then don't do it to him.
Our first young man has a firm belief with it comes to cheating he says "You can't cheat if you're not married". I can see where he is going with this. How i feel about this is that. It is so easy to walk away from someone if you are not married. Once you get married, it is done under God. I don't know very many people who have a ceremony when they become girlfriend/boyfriend. But once you make that promise in front of people and under God, it becomes something more then just a high school title that can end at anytime. It becomes a lifestyle. With that person you are to be with them and them alone. Once you step out on something like that, that is supposed to be forever, then its hurts more and leaves more scars then any boyfriend/girlfriend relationship will ever leave.
Our next young man decided to give us some ideas on what cheating is to him for both women and men. He says "1.)U have a friends of benifits while ur with someone is cheating 2.)Kiss another man on the lips and mean that shit(this will take to much typing to explain)3.)Have sex with someone else when ur in a relationship4.)Do something like kiss another dude even if u didn't mean it but lie about it or never bring it up5.)Have sex with another girl(shit happens)6.)Depending on the situation kissing another girl7.)Having a romantic relationship with someone else while u are dating someone". Very good if i do say so myself. Any of those would have me heated. Although i do have to ask. Why is it that 5 is if shit happens and 6 is depending on the situation?? So depending on the situation if your girl kisses another man then its alright?? Or if your girl happens to have sex with another man then its OK because shit happens?? Not trying to put you on the spot, lol. Any who, women think about it. Would you like it if your man was doing any one of these things??
Our next young man is open with how he feels. He says:"long she dont mean to kiss him i wont get mad but sex is the big nae no! ". I see says the blind man. Kissing is a big thing. But sex is just off the wall. Once you have sex with someone, a new kind of connection is now formed. You might lay down with them and then be able to go home back to your man, but what if he can't just go home back to his lady?? Or what if your the one who can't just go home?? Would you like it if your man was the one who couldn't just come back to you after he was just with her??
Our last young man feel pretty much the same way as alot of our women felt. He says " kissin anotha dude, gettin real comfy wit anotha dude like cuddln and etc ". That again is a big one. Getting to close to a male friend is not going to make your relationship with your man stronger or easier. Its just going to make it worse. Ladies I really don't think you want your man all hugged up with Susie, do you??
Those are just somethings that men will and will not tolerate when it comes to male friends or men on the side. And just like with men, women you have to ask too, what your man is and is not comfortable with. And just like with men, women if you have a man that is not big on sharing his feelings then watch how he acts when you are talking to men and also think about how you will feel it was happening to you. Yes the theory is that men cheat more then women, but if you don't want it to happen to you, then don't do it to him.
Thank you everyone who helped me out with this blog. I will have more to come, so look for the links on my Facebook page. Also the people who helped me here will have a chance to help me do the sequel to this post called "Why do men and women cheat?" that one will go into the minds on why women and men feel like its necessary to step out of their relationships. so look forward to that. Thanks everyone. Until next time. 1