Soul Mates

Soul Mates?? What are they?? What are they supposed to be?? Well to me, Soul Mates (or as I like to call them "SMs") do exist, but there is more than one SM for everyone. Its up to us to find one of them and to find the one that we are most compatible with. You can have a SM and not be compatible enough with them. I mean come on, everyone is different, but you find someone who is just right for you, but then you find some else who is just right for you. You know it, your friends know it, even your pet can see the twinkle in your eye and the desire to walk Fido more. Now I ran across two sure SMs and one maybe (because I am currently in a relationship with him) and I believe, no, I know, that these two will always be a SMs and why the 3rd one is making him self one. Now these are just my experiences and this is how I feel about SMs. I'm not trying to get anyone to believe what I believe if you don't believe in SMs but if you do then enjoy. I'm going to us initals for these men:

C.C.- This guy I have been friends with for year...I mean years, 6-7 to be exact, and not once have we been together but we love eachother like we have been newlywed for almost 6-7 years. Him and I have had falling outs but have always found our way back to eachother. We have shared stories, I have shared tears, and we have shared almost 7 years of life together with eachother and I wouldn't trade our friendship and how long we have waited for eachother for anything in the world. If we don't get together than that with fine, if we do than that is exellent, but I love our friendship just as it it was a relationship, but if the stars aligned right and O'Ryan's belt got

tighter than I would skip, hop, and jump to the occiasion.

A.L.- This one will forever be a SM and I don't care what anyone says or try to convice me to think. I Love him very much with a fire that will never cease no matter who comes along. We were together, broke up, built 5 years of love for eachother, got back together, then broke up again. We have our backs to eachother and know that we can never be with each other again, but if things were perfect and if this was a perfect world and everyone was perfect than we would be together perfectly and the ideal definition of SMs. My love travels like water for A.L and it will never run dry.

C.R.-Last but not least is the man I am currently with right now. I feel so lucky to have him in my life and he feels lucky to have me. We have been through up and down so far and we know more is to coming. We are on the borderline of believing strongly that we are SMs and knowing we are SMs. We cater to eachothers wants, needs, and desires to the best of our ablities and we understand that we are not perfect. He reaches for me, like I reach for him. We give 100% to our relationship as inviduals so that we make 200% as an couple so that we are above all of the rest. We laugh, goof around, and just have that friendship that is a huge inside joke that only we two can laugh at. Happiness and comfort comes naturally for us and we welcome it with open arms through all of the pain the day might have caused. We just go through it then at night we lay in eachothers arms like nothing happened and we are ready for the next journey the next day. We understand that the hard time are just that, hard times, and we go in to it with me holding on to his arm, as his lady, and happy to say that I am going to make it through this with my man. We know what eachother are thinking and we know when the other is not good. We finish eachother's thoughts like its second nature and we pluck the strings on eachother's harp that is the hearts within our very own bodies. If the stars have aligned prefectly and O'Ryan tightened his belt perfectly then maybe, just maybe C.R. can be my perfect SM. We have to be..its the 11th commandment.

What I Learned

Today I talked to a friend of mine and he really got me thinking. This is what I came up with.

Life is a learning experiance. From the time you are born you are learning day in and day out. You learn to cry for what you want, you learn to crawl to get around, you learn to talk to tell people how you feel. Everyday there is something new to learn.

High school is probablly the place where self esteem to taught the most, and not by the teachers, but by the students. Never in all of my life did I feel so unwanted, so unloved, and so disrespected than I did those four years of my life. Teased everyday because of stupid stuff. How I dressed, or how my hair looked, or how I looked. It was always something and it never came to an end.

Before, durning, and even after high school the teasing never stopped. It was always something. Always this or always that. Nothing I had or did was ever good enough for other people.

Always be the first-rate version of yourself, instead of the second-rate version of somebody else.

Not until I moved to New Jersey did I realize that something wasn't working for me. I learned that if I followed in the footsteps of someone else and tried to be what everyone else wanted, I would never find my own way, do my own thing, and become my own person.

So many times I felt like it was to hard to get out of the shadows of my own saddness and depression. At times all I want to do was crawl under a rock and never be seen again. One day my sister pointed out to that I walked with my head down. I never realized how bad it was until I was walking to school one day and almost got hit by a bus. The messed up thing about it was that I didn't know until I got to school and a girl in my class who was on that bus told me. After that I knew something had to give

A champion is somebody who gets up, even when he can't

Everywhere I went after that I tried to walk with my head up. Time and time again I felt myself walking and looking at the ground. When I became aware of that, up my head went. I never realized how bad that was until I realized that my neck would start hurting from walking with my head up so long. But I kept doing it. Walking with my head up still hurts to this day and its been almost 2 years.

I do it because I can, I can because I want to, and I want to because you said I couldn't

Even after people around me started to see my face more and started to see my smile more, they still wanted to hate. At times all I wanted to do was give up, but I for some reason get an adrenaline rush from proving people wrong when they tell me that I can't do something. "How dare you tell me that I can't have that. I'll get it, you'll see.", "Who gives you the right to tell me I can't do something? Watch me do this.", "Your telling me I'm not good enough? Yeah ok, hold that thought." Its crazy.

Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail.

After awhile I didn't need anyone to tell me what I couldn't do. I just wanted to do things for me cause it felt good to do it for me. Oh boy did it feel good. I started to feel like I didn't need to make other people happy. All I need was me and my God.

What you are is God's gift to you, what you make of yourself is your gift to God.

After awhile it was branded in my head that NO ONE will care about me more than myself and more than God. There is no one else who can take everything away from me and leave me high and dry like God can. In one day, I lost everything I had and when I say everything, i mean EVERYTHING...why....because I lost sight of Him. Never in my life will I put a human being infront of the only person who I know that would die for me.

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find is one good reason why it will.

Life is not fair. Nothing is promised to you. Tomorrow may never come. In my life I had to let go of all the reason why I felt like I wasn't good enough, all the reasons why I was teased, and why I felt like I never deserved better. What I got when I let go of all the baggage was the understanding that, if no one else will love me, then I will have to. I will have to take responsility for my own happiness and make it work for my self and when I felt like I was alone, I still had God. That was enough for me.

You can't have a better tomorrow if your always thinking about yesterday.

Yes I admit. I do sometimes jump myself back into my past and get alittle depressed. But NEVER do I want to go back there again to where I was. So if I looks like I am, Im not. Don't get it confused and don't get it twisted.

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.

I hold on to my own happiness cause I'm the only one who can give it to me. I hold on to the things I have learned cause my knowledge and my wisdom made me who I am today. I hold on to the bad memories of the past so that I can be proud of how far I have come today. I hold on to God because He is the only one who can love me as much as I can love me. I hold on to my Guardian Angel (and you know who you are) because I wouldn't be living without him. I hold on to me not because I want to, and not because I have to, but because there is no one else better to hold on to.

C-H-E-A-T-I-N-G

Well here I am once again with another blog. This time its about something that is happening to often in relationships right now. Something I like to call, cheating. Now everyone has their own views on cheating and what cheating is to them. To help me out with this blog, I asked a couple of my friends what they thought and how they felt about this. Let me tell you, what women and men count as cheating is not too different.

First and foremost lets start with relationships in general. I googled the word Relationship and it say a relationship is:

• a relation between people; (`relationship' is often used where `relation' would serve, as in `the relationship between inflation and unemployment ...
• a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); "he didn't want his wife to know of the relationship"
• a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries
• kinship: (anthropology) relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption

So now that we understand what a relationship is, we can know tackle what it means to cheat within that relationship. Lets start with something that is hard to believe for women but not hard to believe for men, and that is: women cheat just as much as men do. Yes it is true. Hard to believe, but true.

Now time for the fun part. We now look into the minds of 4 men and 5 women and see what counts as cheating to them. Lets get started, shall we??

First I will like to say that no names will be used in this. Only what you said. Muhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah.

OK so let just say that the women were very happy to put their two cents in on this. Lets see what some of them had to say.

Now this first young lady feels the way any man or women would feel about cheating she says "pretty much any actions he feels he has to hide from you is cheating". I do understand that completely. If you feel like you have to run and hide to do what you want with someone else then that can be, and most likely will be counted as cheating. Men, if your lady is always acting all secretive with a male friend, how would you feel??

Our next young lady sees it a different way. She says "in my oppinion it would depend on the man, the women, the "other person" and the relationships between all three or 2 of the three". This is what i like to call an "Open relationship". To me, if that is the way you want to roll, then that is all good and dandy with me. Or it could just be a nice 3-some. If that is the case, then party on. But there are to many STDs and STIs out there to be doing all that. To allow it, or to do it.

This next young lady tells me what she counts as cheating. She says "i count kissing,any kind of sex(head is sex), hmmm.....getting too touchy, one night stands lol...being too flirty with other women cuz that will lead to other things.selling his body for money". I like where she was going with all of these answers. Men think about it. If your lady was doing all of this with another man, would you like it??

Our next young lady gets a little more deeper into what she feels cheating is or can be. She says "There's not just physical cheating but also emotional cheating. If he spends too much time talking and hanging with a female friend and never includes you, that is cheating. If he feels he can tell her everything and run to her in his time of need when he should be coming to you, then that can be emotional cheating". Very well put. I don't know how many men will feel this way but I have to say that if you have a lady and she wants to be there for you. It would not be wise to run to Susie down the street to tell her how your day went and how your boss is a complete jack. Think about it men. Would you feel the connection you and your lady is supposed to have, if every time she runs into the house after a bad day and jumps on the phone with Ralph and not tell you anything or waits until five hours later after another man has calmed her down??

Our last young lady gives us a good idea of what she would count as cheating, but also gives us something more to think about. She says "i agree with all, but mainly it depends on the relationship with the person hes "cheateing" with before i came in the picture. i cant tell a man that he cant hug on a person anymore that he has been hugging for three years. however hugging to affectionatly, kissing, any type of sex, holding hands, smakcing on the ass, and even being to intamint. i dont want my man all cozy with another woman even if they rnt doing any of the other things ". Yes Yes Yes. I do agree here too. If you knew a girl before you met your lady, then that is all good. But once you find someone that you want to be with, then other things have to stop. If you always smacked Susie on the butt when you left her or picked her up when you hugged her, then that is something that can't go down when your lady comes along. I mean men, would you be all happy happy joy joy if every time your lady saw Ralph she pinched his butt or allowed him to place his hands on the small of her back every time he saw her, while knowing you are standing right there??

Those are just somethings that ladies count and feel might be cheating. There are so many more and you might just have to talk to your lady and find out what she will and will not tolerate when it comes to female friends, or girls on the side. Also if you have a lady who is not really open with sharing her feelings, then try to watch her actions when you talk to other women. Your lady will always find a way to tell you if she is not comfortable with something. Good luck Men.

Now its on the the men.

What i have learned is that men are simple. Men love different then women, but when it comes to cheating. Its not so different. If you don't want it done to you ladies. Then don't do it to him.

Our first young man has a firm belief with it comes to cheating he says "You can't cheat if you're not married". I can see where he is going with this. How i feel about this is that. It is so easy to walk away from someone if you are not married. Once you get married, it is done under God. I don't know very many people who have a ceremony when they become girlfriend/boyfriend. But once you make that promise in front of people and under God, it becomes something more then just a high school title that can end at anytime. It becomes a lifestyle. With that person you are to be with them and them alone. Once you step out on something like that, that is supposed to be forever, then its hurts more and leaves more scars then any boyfriend/girlfriend relationship will ever leave.

Our next young man decided to give us some ideas on what cheating is to him for both women and men. He says "1.)U have a friends of benifits while ur with someone is cheating 2.)Kiss another man on the lips and mean that shit(this will take to much typing to explain)3.)Have sex with someone else when ur in a relationship4.)Do something like kiss another dude even if u didn't mean it but lie about it or never bring it up5.)Have sex with another girl(shit happens)6.)Depending on the situation kissing another girl7.)Having a romantic relationship with someone else while u are dating someone". Very good if i do say so myself. Any of those would have me heated. Although i do have to ask. Why is it that 5 is if shit happens and 6 is depending on the situation?? So depending on the situation if your girl kisses another man then its alright?? Or if your girl happens to have sex with another man then its OK because shit happens?? Not trying to put you on the spot, lol. Any who, women think about it. Would you like it if your man was doing any one of these things??

Our next young man is open with how he feels. He says:"long she dont mean to kiss him i wont get mad but sex is the big nae no! ". I see says the blind man. Kissing is a big thing. But sex is just off the wall. Once you have sex with someone, a new kind of connection is now formed. You might lay down with them and then be able to go home back to your man, but what if he can't just go home back to his lady?? Or what if your the one who can't just go home?? Would you like it if your man was the one who couldn't just come back to you after he was just with her??

Our last young man feel pretty much the same way as alot of our women felt. He says " kissin anotha dude, gettin real comfy wit anotha dude like cuddln and etc ". That again is a big one. Getting to close to a male friend is not going to make your relationship with your man stronger or easier. Its just going to make it worse. Ladies I really don't think you want your man all hugged up with Susie, do you??

Those are just somethings that men will and will not tolerate when it comes to male friends or men on the side. And just like with men, women you have to ask too, what your man is and is not comfortable with. And just like with men, women if you have a man that is not big on sharing his feelings then watch how he acts when you are talking to men and also think about how you will feel it was happening to you. Yes the theory is that men cheat more then women, but if you don't want it to happen to you, then don't do it to him.

Thank you everyone who helped me out with this blog. I will have more to come, so look for the links on my Facebook page. Also the people who helped me here will have a chance to help me do the sequel to this post called "Why do men and women cheat?" that one will go into the minds on why women and men feel like its necessary to step out of their relationships. so look forward to that. Thanks everyone. Until next time. 1

Love and Happiness

Love is a beautiful thing when you have it. Love can also be a terrible thing when you have it. When you are in love for the right reasons, you can show it to the other person in the right ways. for example:

Trust is a beautiful thing that comes with having the right type of love. If you trust the person you are with, then nothing can break that or your love. Although there is the wrong type of trust that comes with relationships. And its something we like to call "open-relationships ". Now if you are in an open-relationship then chances are you trust the "main" person you are with to remember that you and him/her are together and just doing other people. But let me ask a question. If you are letting your girl/man go out and have sex with other people and they come back with an STD, is the trust broken then?? I don't know, that is why im asking.
Another way to show your love:

Yes you guessed it, showing affection. This has to be one of the greatest acts of love you can show someone without using the "L" word. There are alot of ways to show affection too. You can: Kiss, Hug, or Hold hands in public

One more thing you can do to show someone that you love them is just tell them by having a good sourse of communication in your relationship. If you can't tell the person that you are with that you had a bad day at work then how can you tell them how you feel about them??

Yes love and relationships are wonderful things to have for the right reason. And with the right dedication you can have a fulfilling relationship that can turn into love that can last a life time. So the next time you choose to jump into a relationship and plan to fall in love, take a second to realize just how much work it is. Once you realize that, love can come as easy as breathing.

Importance of keeping a Diary, Journal, or Blog

This is my first blog and Im looking forward to seeing what my friends think about my writing skills. I have been writing for a very very very long time so it is a hobby of mine. My first blog is about the joy of keeping a journal, diary, and/or blog. And if you don't keep one, then maybe after reading this you will find a reason to start.

So let start with what can you write about. If you had a book to write about anything you wanted to, what would you write about?? Would you write about yourself?? Would you write to help other people?? The great thing about writing is that you can keep it for yourself or you can have people read it. Most journals are private but others can be as public as you want it to be. For example: Lets say there is a girl or guy that you like, and you write it down never to be seen. Then one day you can't take it anymore and you have to let then know. You already have something to show them. How?? rewrite a page of you journal/diary/blog and send or give it to them. Something that you wrote about them in confidence with be so special to them that they will just love it.

One thing i do is write poetry (which will be coming soon). And i keep them in a journal. But when i have someone who i believe deserves one of them, I will rewrite it and give it to them. i have done that alot of times and it feels so good to know that something so special to me can now be so special to them.

Another good thing about keeping a journal/diary/blog is that you can blow off alot of steam and ease alot of stress do that. I remember thoes days of school when i just wanted to curl into a ball and drop out of school and to make matters worse, it seemed like no cared what i had to say about my issues at school. So what did i do?? I wrote and went from this:

To this:

Don't I look happy now?? Yes i do, and so can you. All you have to do is open a book with alot of paper in it. Think about what you want to write about and just write write write.

***If you want to leave comments on my first blog and more blogs to come and you are visiting me from facebook. Read the blog go back to facebook and leave your comments on my facebook page under the link for the blog. Ok I hope you enjoy so far and i hope you keep my blogs in mind when your looking for something to read. Until next time my loves.***